Love and Marriage

For anyone who is married or who has ever been to a wedding (which pretty much includes every person in the world), we all know the classic vow; For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. On that day, when you stand beside the person you love most in this world, the last thing on most people's mind is that in sickness part. In fact, on that day, the happy couple is likely not thinking about any of the pitfalls or bad points of a marriage. But as time goes on, things happen and it is in the times of trouble that marriage is tested. Some can't make it because both partners aren't committed. Some hang on as long as they can and slowly dissolve. But then there are the ones who learn how to ride out the bad times and somehow get stronger.

I will never pretend that Michele and I have always had a perfect marriage. We have had times when it seemed like we might throw up our hands and walk away, but we never did. There are times in any marriage where it seems like the well of love has run dry, yet both partners continue, just like we have in those times, because we had faith in each other. We took our vows seriously. In Good times and Bad. We adjusted. We talked. We worked through whatever it was. We trusted that love would win in the end.

When my cancer diagnosis came, it seemed like a wake up call to us both. I know  I have always loved Michele, but the threat of dying made me realize how much I loved her. It gave me the will to fight. Trying to imagine going through this without her strength is impossible. Every day now I look at her and feel this amazing warmth of love.And while I can't speak for her, I can say that she must be feeling the same thing. I see it in her smile when I have a good day. I feel it in her arms when she holds me close. Right after I was diagnosed, I felt the change in the way she held me; it was as if she was trying to keep some monster from pulling me away. I know we both noticed the change in the relationship because we have talked about it. And while I am eternally grateful that we are closer now than we have ever been, I just wish it hadn't taken something like this to make it happen.

So my thought for the day, for everyone out there who is married or getting married, is this... I want you to look at your partner today and open your eyes completely. Imagine that someone has told you that you only have today to show them how much you love them. How would you do that? Once you figure that out, I want you to do that every day, because no one ever promised us forever, so we need to make today count.