Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The R word

There is word I have been waiting to hear. It's a special word, a word that seems almost impossible... but I heard it today for the first time in relation to me. I wish I could say it is a five letter word, as in "cured", but it's not. On the other hand, it's much better than a four letter word, as in dead. It's a word that means I can let out my breathe, which I feel like I have been holding since October. It's a word that means I have some time, that I can pick up my life again. Ask any stage IV patient what they are waiting to hear, and I will bet they say the same thing. Yes... it's Remission. I am officially in remission.

We went to UNC- Chapel Hill today to the Cancer hospital and met with Dr Dees, who is the Associate in charge of the Breast Cancer Clinic. She went through my records and talked with me about where do we go from here and those magic words came from her lips. No... there will be no more Chemo or radiation because there is no need for it right now. After all... currently we have no proof that there is any active cancer anywhere. The lymph nodes that lit up the first PET scan but disappeared on the second one... well, she says those could have been anything... a cold, lupus, stray cancer cells... who knows. But the fact is that they aren't there now. Yes, there MIGHT be some rogue cancer cells floating around, but the Herceptin should take care of that. Yes, the cancer MIGHT have a recurrence, and if it does, we will try something else. But for now... exercise and Vitamin D3 are her suggestions.

So now... I exhale.

How amazing it feels to leave a doctors office with time ahead of me filled with something other than worries. Yes, I know... it's temporary... but there are people who have been in remission for years and years... and I think I can handle that. At least until the day they say they have a cure. So... here's to me and to all those people who prayed for me and with me... Thank You, my Best Friend, for giving me this gift. Thank You for the lessons I have learned. Thank You for the strength to fight, for the love of family and friends and for carrying me through the Valley of Shadows.... I knew if I just had Faith, we could make it through.

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