In the past nine months, I have thought and talked a great deal about the Big C at work. Every woman I talk to gets the same lecture on getting checked. And recently, I have heard from a number who listened. In fact, I have also heard from male customers who listened... and this is what I have heard back.
Most of the women who have talked with me and heard my plea that they get checked came back with smiles and good reports. Every time I hear an all clear report, I smile and remind them to be vigilant. One young lady, or rather, younger than me lady, came to tell me she took my advice and MADE her doctor give her the mammogram. She is in her thirties, but has a family history of BC and thought maybe she felt something, but wasn't sure. Her doctor poo poo-ed her at first, but after talking to me, she went to him and argued. A week later, she had her test. Two days after that, she got the phone call. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Not what you want to hear, but she caught it at age 36. Four more years and it could have spread anywhere. She came back to thank me. I hugged her, gave her my phone number and told her anything she needs to talk about... just call. Anytime. Even 4am. Don't be afraid. You have cancer, sister, but it doesn't have you.
A man who has watched me talk to her came to me afterwards and told me that he had been watching me throughout this whole ordeal. His aunt had just been diagnosed and had a mastectomy. He said he thought about me when he talked to her. Then he asked "What is it about cancer that makes people change? How do you get so strong?" I asked what he meant and he explained that his aunt is in her seventies, but had the surgery and went right back to caring for her husband who has Alzheimer's. He noticed that I worked the whole way through chemo, was out a very short period and came back like nothing had happened. And to top it off, I was happy!
Now... I know this man as a 7 year customer. He is what we call a difficult customer. He gets mad easy, yells and has temper tantrums. But I have noticed that he has changed over the past 8 months. He always stops to talk. He smiles at me more. He takes an interest. And I don't think he even realized that he has changed... not me. But his question made me stop.
I told him this:
Not everyone who has cancer is strong. None of us are strong by choice.Some are strong by necessity. Some are strong by faith. Some of us are just stubborn. But you can't beat it if you don't fight. Sometimes you fight and still lose...
Cancer doesn't change you. Facing your own mortality does. But you know, you don't have to have cancer to make the same change. All you need to do it look at the beautiful woman you woke up beside and that beautiful baby asleep in the next room and realize that you are blessed. To start with... you woke up, and somewhere out there, someone else didn't. Secondly, you have people you love who love you. And most importantly, you just have to realize that you are not promised the first two things forever, so enjoy them right now. Also...( and this is where I put things in perspective) before you go to get upset over something, ask yourself... is this really worth getting upset over? I mean... in my life, if it isn't as bad as the news that I have the big C, then it isn't worth getting worked up over. Finally... when you lay down to sleep at night... don't forget to say Thank You... because today was a gift, and we should always be thankful for the gifts that come our way.
Most of the women who have talked with me and heard my plea that they get checked came back with smiles and good reports. Every time I hear an all clear report, I smile and remind them to be vigilant. One young lady, or rather, younger than me lady, came to tell me she took my advice and MADE her doctor give her the mammogram. She is in her thirties, but has a family history of BC and thought maybe she felt something, but wasn't sure. Her doctor poo poo-ed her at first, but after talking to me, she went to him and argued. A week later, she had her test. Two days after that, she got the phone call. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Not what you want to hear, but she caught it at age 36. Four more years and it could have spread anywhere. She came back to thank me. I hugged her, gave her my phone number and told her anything she needs to talk about... just call. Anytime. Even 4am. Don't be afraid. You have cancer, sister, but it doesn't have you.
A man who has watched me talk to her came to me afterwards and told me that he had been watching me throughout this whole ordeal. His aunt had just been diagnosed and had a mastectomy. He said he thought about me when he talked to her. Then he asked "What is it about cancer that makes people change? How do you get so strong?" I asked what he meant and he explained that his aunt is in her seventies, but had the surgery and went right back to caring for her husband who has Alzheimer's. He noticed that I worked the whole way through chemo, was out a very short period and came back like nothing had happened. And to top it off, I was happy!
Now... I know this man as a 7 year customer. He is what we call a difficult customer. He gets mad easy, yells and has temper tantrums. But I have noticed that he has changed over the past 8 months. He always stops to talk. He smiles at me more. He takes an interest. And I don't think he even realized that he has changed... not me. But his question made me stop.
I told him this:
Not everyone who has cancer is strong. None of us are strong by choice.Some are strong by necessity. Some are strong by faith. Some of us are just stubborn. But you can't beat it if you don't fight. Sometimes you fight and still lose...
Cancer doesn't change you. Facing your own mortality does. But you know, you don't have to have cancer to make the same change. All you need to do it look at the beautiful woman you woke up beside and that beautiful baby asleep in the next room and realize that you are blessed. To start with... you woke up, and somewhere out there, someone else didn't. Secondly, you have people you love who love you. And most importantly, you just have to realize that you are not promised the first two things forever, so enjoy them right now. Also...( and this is where I put things in perspective) before you go to get upset over something, ask yourself... is this really worth getting upset over? I mean... in my life, if it isn't as bad as the news that I have the big C, then it isn't worth getting worked up over. Finally... when you lay down to sleep at night... don't forget to say Thank You... because today was a gift, and we should always be thankful for the gifts that come our way.
I love this story. I wrote a craft book while going through treatment. I didn't let cancer define me, I just focused on what was important and got all the jobs done. I did change though. Now as I move away from all that, I find I am uninterested in many things I used to attend to, I don't get involved in drama, my priorities have changed.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting to experience how folks see how I handled the having cancer and going through treatment. I suppose I handled it well, though I could not imagine doing it any other way. Just found your blog, love it.
Thank you so much! I am so excited when I find new people to talk to. It's awesome that you made a craft book... can we see it? Do you have a way to share? I have some very crafty nieces and I am sure they would Love it.
DeleteI agree that cancer has changed so much about how we deal with life. No longer do I waste my time getting mad about stupid stuff. I figure, if it isn't cancer, it's small stuff. Love you and many prayers!