Not many people can say that they are so excited to get to work that they have trouble sleeping, but I did Saturday night. I started back to work on Sunday, and I didn't have a wimpy shift either... no... I was there from 8am till 7:15pm. Then I was back Monday from 1-10pm. Michele said I looked better than I have in a while. And I felt better too. I hate sitting at home, doing nothing for days on end. I don't really enjoy tv. There are only so many books you can read before your brain hurts, and window shopping is really boring. I missed my staff. I missed my customers. I missed my boss. I even missed the repetitive stuff and I never thought I would miss that. It was nice to come home and be able to said I did more with my day than just sweep the kitchen again. I loved my hugs, the head rubs and yeah... the people who noticed I am no longer 189lbs (I was 172.4 today, thank you very much!). I already have another trainee to start, and I am excited about sharing my excitement if that makes sense.
Tuesday's radiation/chemo kicked my butt. I slept the entire day and then slept most of the night too. But I woke up today feeling refreshed and sunburned. Ah yes... the radiation is starting to show. I talked with my oncologist about the new drug coming down the pipeline June 8th (the day before my birthday... Happy Birthday Me!) and she said she will look into it. She is pleased with my progress, and said we may wait on that and try a different combo if she feels we need it, but not until after radiation is done. She says better to save some weapons for later if we don't have to use them now. I am back on the happy train. Yes...I may just be fooling myself, but I think I can hold this at bay for quite some time, and my doctor does too. She did say they did another marker test on me after surgery, which they don't usually do, and my HER-2 number had dropped from 3+ to 2... We aren't really sure what that means, because, like I said, they usually don't run that test on the tumor after surgery, and she isn't sure why it was run again, but we have some theories. She thinks it may be that the Herceptin is working, and that as it continues to work, my cells are slowing their HER-2 expression. I just pray that it means the number of cells is being reduced enough that the expression has fallen some. Whatever it is, Herceptin is working, and I am not showing any signs of heart issues.
I started walking home from work again. I love it. It's almost like life is returning to normal, like maybe I can get a small vacation from CancerLand. It makes me feel like dancing again. I want so much now. I feel like I am being given a second chance at life... even if it's a brief one... and I really need to revise my bucket list. I have some traveling I want to do. I would really like to try hang-gliding just once. I want a hot air balloon ride. I want to get back on a horse and just let it run with me hanging on for dear life. I want to go tramp around Transylvania county again. I want to go eat everything I can from every restaurant in New Orleans. I want to sit on the beach in the winter when no one else is there. I want to go fishing with my dad and make him bait my hook cause I hate that part. I want to go to the drive-in movies with a group of friends, smuggle in beers and watch the double feature from the back of a pickup truck. I want.... I want... I want memories.
Tuesday's radiation/chemo kicked my butt. I slept the entire day and then slept most of the night too. But I woke up today feeling refreshed and sunburned. Ah yes... the radiation is starting to show. I talked with my oncologist about the new drug coming down the pipeline June 8th (the day before my birthday... Happy Birthday Me!) and she said she will look into it. She is pleased with my progress, and said we may wait on that and try a different combo if she feels we need it, but not until after radiation is done. She says better to save some weapons for later if we don't have to use them now. I am back on the happy train. Yes...I may just be fooling myself, but I think I can hold this at bay for quite some time, and my doctor does too. She did say they did another marker test on me after surgery, which they don't usually do, and my HER-2 number had dropped from 3+ to 2... We aren't really sure what that means, because, like I said, they usually don't run that test on the tumor after surgery, and she isn't sure why it was run again, but we have some theories. She thinks it may be that the Herceptin is working, and that as it continues to work, my cells are slowing their HER-2 expression. I just pray that it means the number of cells is being reduced enough that the expression has fallen some. Whatever it is, Herceptin is working, and I am not showing any signs of heart issues.
I started walking home from work again. I love it. It's almost like life is returning to normal, like maybe I can get a small vacation from CancerLand. It makes me feel like dancing again. I want so much now. I feel like I am being given a second chance at life... even if it's a brief one... and I really need to revise my bucket list. I have some traveling I want to do. I would really like to try hang-gliding just once. I want a hot air balloon ride. I want to get back on a horse and just let it run with me hanging on for dear life. I want to go tramp around Transylvania county again. I want to go eat everything I can from every restaurant in New Orleans. I want to sit on the beach in the winter when no one else is there. I want to go fishing with my dad and make him bait my hook cause I hate that part. I want to go to the drive-in movies with a group of friends, smuggle in beers and watch the double feature from the back of a pickup truck. I want.... I want... I want memories.
I want more memories for you, too!!!!
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