Get 'Er Done!

Remember the book I was making for my niece for the future? Well, it's all done now. From birth to age 21, there are cards and photos and stickers for every year. I spent a great deal of time laying out how I wanted the book to look, and writing cards and looking through the photos we have already; making space for photos that will come in the future.  I like the book. It's simple and sweet and full of love.  And it's one more thing off my get 'er done list that is... well... done.

What is a Get 'er Done list, you ask? It's simple. There are things that you do when you deal with a death in the family. Things like distributing the loved ones belongings, cleaning out closets, going through years of accumulated "stuff and things"... all tasks that take time and (in my experience) can lead to great big falling outs in families as people argue over grandma's china, or great aunt Susie's jewelry. It's not the big stuff you write up in your will that cause problems... it's the little things. So, for people like me who know the end is coming sooner rather than later, the wise start taking care of this stuff long before the end is too close.

The funny thing is, I read other writers frequently and one that I read did a piece about the myths of dealing with the terminal disease. A few of those myths dealt with the Get 'er Done type stuff. The writer said we "think" we will do those things that need to be done, but we don't, choosing instead to do anything but deal with what must be done. And yet, I am doing these things.


For example, I had a large collection of dolls. I loved them all. I could look at each doll and tell you where it came from, who gave it to me and why it was special. There were little dolls that my Grandpa Hartman gave me when he came back from trips overseas. There were rows and rows of red headed brown eyed dolls my mom had given me. There were antique dolls my wife had given me over the years. There were Barbies and a Spice Girl and even Audrey Hepburn. Those dolls are now with my three nieces. I split the collection three ways and gave them to the girls parents to give to the girls for me. Next to go are my music boxes that my wife has bought me.

I have a set of dishes from my mom that is going back to her, along with family photos so that she can decide who should get them next. My own photos of my childhood will go to my brothers. My jewelry is divided up in envelopes with an explanation of what each piece is and who it goes to. These are being mailed out soon. The only pieces I am keeping are the necklace Michele had made for me, two pairs of earrings she gave me and my wedding ring (Plus the cheap costume stuff that my niece Ava can play with in her dress-up chest).

We went through our photos and I picked the pictures I want for my memorial. Pictures of me smiling, laughing and of course, sticking my tongue out. I am making my own memorial slide show.  Who better to decide how I want to be remembered than me? Who can tell the story of my life better? What better message to leave than one I do myself?

I went through my closets and dressers and got down to the basics. Just what I wear, nothing else. Six bags of clothes went to Goodwill.  I am slowly going through all the boxes and put up items and getting rid of anything and everything that is not necessary.

All these things give me a feeling of relief. A shedding of my shell. A sloughing off of the excess. I am getting streamlined, less weighted down.


As I often say... I am not being morbid or trying to be alarmist.. I am just a realist who knows that if I want something done the way I want it done, then I need to do it myself. Why put the burden on my wife and mom who will have enough to deal with when the time comes when it is just as easy to do it now? On the plus side, I have enjoyed going through things and remembering special times with my wife as I go through stuff. Even the great closet purge was fun as we talked about how we have one sweater that has been with us for 20 years and I STILL will not get rid of it ( Hey! It's a Ralph Lauren sweater and that thing was well worth the money! It still looks just as good today as it did years ago)