Get 'Er Done!

Remember the book I was making for my niece for the future? Well, it's all done now. From birth to age 21, there are cards and photos and stickers for every year. I spent a great deal of time laying out how I wanted the book to look, and writing cards and looking through the photos we have already; making space for photos that will come in the future.  I like the book. It's simple and sweet and full of love.  And it's one more thing off my get 'er done list that is... well... done.

What is a Get 'er Done list, you ask? It's simple. There are things that you do when you deal with a death in the family. Things like distributing the loved ones belongings, cleaning out closets, going through years of accumulated "stuff and things"... all tasks that take time and (in my experience) can lead to great big falling outs in families as people argue over grandma's china, or great aunt Susie's jewelry. It's not the big stuff you write up in your will that cause problems... it's the little things. So, for people like me who know the end is coming sooner rather than later, the wise start taking care of this stuff long before the end is too close.

The funny thing is, I read other writers frequently and one that I read did a piece about the myths of dealing with the terminal disease. A few of those myths dealt with the Get 'er Done type stuff. The writer said we "think" we will do those things that need to be done, but we don't, choosing instead to do anything but deal with what must be done. And yet, I am doing these things.


For example, I had a large collection of dolls. I loved them all. I could look at each doll and tell you where it came from, who gave it to me and why it was special. There were little dolls that my Grandpa Hartman gave me when he came back from trips overseas. There were rows and rows of red headed brown eyed dolls my mom had given me. There were antique dolls my wife had given me over the years. There were Barbies and a Spice Girl and even Audrey Hepburn. Those dolls are now with my three nieces. I split the collection three ways and gave them to the girls parents to give to the girls for me. Next to go are my music boxes that my wife has bought me.

I have a set of dishes from my mom that is going back to her, along with family photos so that she can decide who should get them next. My own photos of my childhood will go to my brothers. My jewelry is divided up in envelopes with an explanation of what each piece is and who it goes to. These are being mailed out soon. The only pieces I am keeping are the necklace Michele had made for me, two pairs of earrings she gave me and my wedding ring (Plus the cheap costume stuff that my niece Ava can play with in her dress-up chest).

We went through our photos and I picked the pictures I want for my memorial. Pictures of me smiling, laughing and of course, sticking my tongue out. I am making my own memorial slide show.  Who better to decide how I want to be remembered than me? Who can tell the story of my life better? What better message to leave than one I do myself?

I went through my closets and dressers and got down to the basics. Just what I wear, nothing else. Six bags of clothes went to Goodwill.  I am slowly going through all the boxes and put up items and getting rid of anything and everything that is not necessary.

All these things give me a feeling of relief. A shedding of my shell. A sloughing off of the excess. I am getting streamlined, less weighted down.


As I often say... I am not being morbid or trying to be alarmist.. I am just a realist who knows that if I want something done the way I want it done, then I need to do it myself. Why put the burden on my wife and mom who will have enough to deal with when the time comes when it is just as easy to do it now? On the plus side, I have enjoyed going through things and remembering special times with my wife as I go through stuff. Even the great closet purge was fun as we talked about how we have one sweater that has been with us for 20 years and I STILL will not get rid of it ( Hey! It's a Ralph Lauren sweater and that thing was well worth the money! It still looks just as good today as it did years ago)

And the side effects start...

Five doses into the Tykerb/Xeloda combo and side effects are starting already. Today started out so good too... I got up, took my first batch of meds, waited an hour, ate some oatmeal, took the second round, played with the dog some. Then Michele and I cleaned up the front room. That was fun. We rearranged furniture, separated out the trash from the donations (Goodwill and I are seeing a great deal of each other these days) and finally found the pattern to my cross-stitch work that I had been looking for. Next was a short nap and dinner. Of course it was too good to be true... an hour after the third medication dose, my tummy turned wonky. I tried to ignore it, but when a burp almost became a repeat of dinner, I knew it was time. My darling wife went to the store and brought back sherbet, ginger ale and other tummy settlers.
The funny part... here I am getting mad at myself because I was sick. Yep, I was being a pansy. No, not .really... but I did feel like I was a pansy. I mean really... it's only been 2 1/2 days. I can't seriously be sick already. But apparently I can.

Which leads me to today's thought.  Don't be so hard on yourself. No one expects you to be perfect... except maybe you.

Quick update

Well, the news here is.... meh. The Evil Overlord C has made a base in two lymph nodes and has been expanding his base camp. The size has increased, both in the lymph nodes and in the lung. My amazing doctor has decided that it is time to give Herceptin a rest for a while. Since the increase in size means the drug combo I am on right now is not working, and my heart function is down to 55%, we are on to the next step- Tykerb and Xeloda.  I will keep you posted on how this turns out.

A blessed new year

Gosh... a whole new year!  I can't believe how fast last year went by. I think every year just passes in a blur as I get older. I haven't been online much lately because my computer decided that since it was a new year... It needed a vacation. But Michele fixed it and here I am again.

Some of my 50 state magnets!

I wanted to start the year off right by saying how amazing my friends and family are. Yes... I know... I say that a lot, but seriously... I am probably the most blessed woman in the world. Let me start with the mail. I love mail. I love getting packages, even if it's just free samples of detergent. December brought me mail and more mail. Christmas cards after Christmas cards. Wedding invitations. Picture cards. A set of magnets from all 50 states. Every day I had something that made me smile. To all my friends... I don't know if you realize how much I cherished the cards with family photos. I loved the cute kids in jammies, the families dressed in their christmas-y best, the poems, the stories and the smiles. I loved the pretty cards with little notes. Yes, it may seem corny, but it meant a great deal to me to know that I was thought of when those cards were written out. That someone smiled when they addressed that envelope and knew that I would smile when I opened my mail box. I even waited and collected them all for a night when I was off so I could sit and savor my cards while having a cocoa. And then I put them in my scrapbook to enjoy again later.  Oh... did I mention the presents? I got a surprise from my wonderful friend Marlinda and her staff at the beauty salon. See... they had a dieting bet going on and since no one won it... they sent the pot to me. Imagine my surprise to get a card with a check large enough to cover three months of Tykerb! I was in tears at how generous my friends are. And then a present from someone I didn't know... Magnets! A friend of mine Brooke (who I have mentioned before ) wanted to help me finish my magnet collection (read back a few posts... it's something I thought I would not get to do...but see how God works miracles?) and her brother sent me a set. And a customer gave me a lottery ticket. I won a dollar! (Don't hate!  you know you wish you had one!)

No... this isn't a plea for more mail (but hey! if the spirit moves you... I am accepting children's artwork for my fridge, pictures to go in my scrapbook and notes to read with my cocoa...no restrictions apply!). This is just an observation on how blessed I am.

So... this brings me to my big thought for the new year. So many times we all get hung up on what is wrong in our lives, we lose sight of the amazing parts of our lives. Every day we wake up (How Awesome!  Somewhere out there, someone did not wake up today... look how lucky you are!) and are surrounded by our family (Look at those faces who love you even when you look like Lyle Lovett and have breath that could be used as a weapon). We go out in the world to a job or stay home to do the job of raising our future (somewhere out there is someone who has no job or has never raised a family). We come home to our loved ones, spend time with our friends and... here's the best part... we get to do it all again tomorrow! 

You may wonder how I can think like this with what is going on here healthwise... but you know... until the Big C... I never realized that I am the luckiest woman in the world. But I do now.