My dog is a pansy

A real short post here....

I am ashamed to admit it, but my Stafford-shire Terrier mix is a pansy.

Our friend Deborah was dog sitting while we were gone. Buddy and Cleo were just happy to see people. Boston.... not so much. He growled! He refused to come out of his crate to go outside! He tucked his tail and whimpered and shivered and acted pitiful. She had to call me so I could talk to him on speaker phone to get him to go outside to pee. Obviously, we were not about to try bringing him in while we were gone, because he was being unpredictable. So he had to stay outside the rest of the week we were gone. Don't feel bad for him... Deborah played his version of ball with him, and he let her actually touch the toy a couple of time, which for him is a big deal. And he also got lots of treats.

My theory is that they own cats, but no dogs and he is scared of cats (see... I told you he was a pansy). So, he thought they were BIG CATS. Or, it could just be that he is rotten spoiled and listens to no one except me because I am the momma.

Either way... Deborah went above and beyond the call of duty dealing with my crew and I owe her big time! Technically, we hired her daughter... but big dogs need big people. However... if anyone needs an awesome cat sitter... I think that her daughter could start a great on the side business. When we got home, our dog Buddy could have cared less... he was looking for that kid who gives him cookies.

I love you Deborah!

Shopping!

Okay... so ... Its now Weds and we went shopping.  I don't know that it is a good idea to have Michele, Tara and me in a store together for long. First we had to pick beer. Oh goodness. The three of us are semi-sorta beer snobs, and couldn't decide what kind of beer to buy. I like this type, Michele likes that type, Tara likes something else and I didn't want a keg, because then I would feel obligated to drink all the leftover beer before returning it, because there is something really wrong with having to waste beer. Even bad beer. (Of course, I could have just used it giving everyone a great beer shampoo... but I don't use good beer for that!) Going into the distributors was like candyland for grown-ups. Next stop was the wine distributor, where I found our favorite Pinot Noir (Hob Nob, a wine we share with our ballroom dancing friends after discovering it at a wine tasting) and the first bottle of wine we ever shared as a couple (Pouilly-Fuissé).  Perfect!  We needed wine for the wine ceremony and what better than two wines that actually have meaning for us.

Our next stop was to be Sam's club, but we interrupted that for some NY style pizza. See... we were going food shopping and me in a store with food if I haven't eaten is a recipe for bankruptcy. I don't know how many of you remember my taste of Charlotte post, but I can eat some food. And most importantly, Michele NEEDED the pizza. Apparently, the South may have a whole mess of great foods, but to a New Yorker, there is no such thing as a real pizza (or Bagel) anywhere outside of the state. Michele tried to convince the pizzeria owner to move south and open a pizza/bagel shop. It didn't work, but if anyone wants to make millions... I am telling you... bring NY pizza and Bagels to North Carolina. You will retire rich.

Then, we went to Sam's. First thing I did was order cupcakes. Now... I know people are back and forth on the whole wedding cake/cupcake debate, but I happen to like cupcakes. They are small, already in portion sizes so you don't have to have anyone stationed there while people decide how big a slice they want, they can be mixed and matched in colors, icings and flavors and most importantly, I think the little cupcake towers are cute. So when we were talking about a cake vs. cupcakes, I felt that cupcakes are more... well, Me! Compact, cute and simple. Not to mention, I like whipped icing, and she likes that butter cream stuff. I like chocolate, and she likes white cake. So.. She had green cupcakes, and I had white ones. Anyhow... the shopping...
The three of us were insane. The two of them did most of the shopping. I took advantage of all the free sample tables, because while the pizza was good... I never pass up free food. The buggy filled up pretty quick, and we headed back to Club Med to unload our booty.

I also stopped at the local drug store and was overjoyed to see that the store had not yet completed hanging their markdown signs on their seasonal!  Yippeee!!!  The stuff my store had been sold out of for a month hadn't even been marked down once yet... so I bought it all! Yep... all the solar lights were mine! The yard would look awesome! Tara and Sisto once again were working on the yard while I put light up bugs all over the place. Can I just say again how awesome our cousins are?

After all that shopping and the second round of decorating, time for the pool again! After the first day, I noticed that swimming in the pool had reduced the swelling around my mastectomy scars. What's more, I didn't have to wear a top to swim, which was very liberating and felt amazing. I am thinking that I need a pool. or at least access to one on a regular basis. Maybe we should just go live with Tara and Sisto... I could take over that store ( I'll have to talk about that later... it was the first time I realized that I think like a District Manager)

The weather had been beautiful so far, and the forecast for Friday was still about 40% chance of rain. Only Thursday to get through!

Club Medford Day One

Monday August 6th, I worked 730 am till 10pm. When I got home, we did one last look around the house, kissed our puppies and kitties, got in the car and headed off for New York. Oh wow!  Our very first trip to NY where I did not have to be stressed out over dealing with the Mother In Law. I was excited about getting married, seeing our cousins and aunts and uncles and mostly about having a vacation with Michele away from the house.

I slept most of the night, until about 7am when Michele woke me to take over driving. We stopped for coffee and some really stale cinnabon's. Can I just say... food at those travel service centers is outrageous! Two coffees and four mini cinnamon rolls was 15 dollars. YIKES!  I mean, maybe if it had been organically grown, handpicked by Tibetan nuns, individually roasted and poured in a cup you could cherish, but geez. I won't even go into the eight dollar whopper meal ( a Small meal at that! We ate trail mix instead). Now, the fun part is that Michele is now asleep, I have had a large coffee, two sodas and a water and I just woke up. Needless to say... I had to make quite a few pit stops. Every time I stopped, she woke up. Are we there yet?  Ummm.... noooo... I need to piddle again. After about 2 hours, she took over driving again. We were now on the NJ turnpike, and I am a skittish driver. Well, not skittish, but I am a driver who does the speed limit, lets cars get in ahead of me, and do not tailgate. Obviously, me driving anywhere near NY is a recipe for us going nowhere fast.

This is the first trip I have ever been awake and relaxed enough to gawk out the windows. I saw the docks where all the cargo is unloaded. I saw the Statue of Liberty. I saw Coney Island. I saw what I thought were rows of derelict buildings, only to discover that those are tenements. People actually live there. Eek! The weather was beautiful, so we had the windows open and I did not even smell the icky smell of the water like I did on my first trip there. They are really working to clean up the water around the island. I was dancing and singing in my seat, waving at the people who looked. ( somewhere in NY that night, a man in a turban was telling his wife about the crazy woman who was serenading him on the LIE)

First stop was the Brookhaven town offices. Everyone was so nice and happy to help us. The lady had a good laugh over our "destination wedding" in Medford, NY. But we got our license with no trouble at all. We got to Tara's shorty after, went to lunch and then Michele went to sleep. Tara went to work and I stayed up. When Sisto got home from work, he and I finished putting mulch in the yard, hung lights on the trees and I watched and applauded while he fixed the screen door.

It was wonderful to work in the yard with my cousin. We had some drinks, cut up some landscaping material, spread some mulch... all the things I love doing in my yard that I had to stop doing for so long. Then the fun of putting up lights. You know... christmas lights are a great outdoor wedding decoration. Add to that those cute LED color changing solar lights, and you have a lovely nightscape. We pulled out their christmas lights and lit up the back yard. Then, while I untangled some lights, he got out the sander to fix the door to his patio. We just chatted and sipped our drinks, then jumped in the pool. This was the first time I got to spend one on one time with Sisto, and you know what? He is the most awesome man. I mean, I always knew he was great and fun, but that man absolutely worhips the ground his wife walks on, is so family centered and honestly is the kind of man who would give you the shirt off his back. In fact, both him and his wife are that kind of person. And I am truly blessed that they are part of my family. ( Can I just say... I miss them both terribly, and wish we were closer together) Every day, both of them were so eager to help us do anything and spent so much time making everything beautiful. They are a blessing.

It's Legal!

Wow! What a vacation! I am so exhausted... I need a vacation from my vacation!

Well... it's legal now. After 20 yrs, Michele and I have become legally wedded.  Not that we weren't married anyhow. After all... what else do you call all those years of devotion and love? I was thinking about the two ceremonies ( okay... it's actually 4 if you count the 1993 March on Washington protest marriage and the vow renewal service 10 yrs ago... We apparently just like to get hitched again periodically.) and there were a lot of similarities between the two services.

In 1992, we were married at the Unitarian Church in Winston Salem, where I grew up. My family was there and most of my close friends. Michele only had one member of her family at that service. My hair was short, my dress was green, my flowers were a bouquet that one of my friends bought for me at the grocery store. Michele wore a suit we rented from a costume shop.We arrived at the church early to set up the whole shebang ourselves. No florist, no decorator, no nothing. Talk about a minimalist wedding. It cost us 500.00. For us at that time, that was a lot of money. I was so nervous walking down the aisle that I was swinging my bouquet, flinging water on our guests. Why was I so nervous? For me, this was a huge thing. I was about to pledge to be with this one woman for the rest of my life. In my mind, marriage is sacred, and when you make that promise in front of friends and family, it means FOREVER. No matter what. And while I knew I loved Michele wholeheartedly, we really hadn't been together that long. So yeah... it was a little daunting. But my family was there to support me, and by golly, I was going to give it my all. At 21, you don't really think about all the what if's though, and I never realized all the curve balls life would throw at us. But looking back, I think that having a commitment ceremony ( as it was called then) always helped us get past the obstacles in life.

Fast forward 20 years. It's now 2012. Marriage is now legally available to all people in a handful of states, one of which happens to be New York, where Michele was born and raised. Once again, our minister is a Unitarian. My hair is short, but growing. My dress is green. My bouquet was a gift from a family member. We decorated everything ourselves, with lots of help from family members, the dollar store and of course... the markdown section of a drug store. Michele's family is there. I have my best friend of twenty four years and two of my dance friends. This time... I went down the aisle without a single worry. This may have been the legal part, but really, this was a confirmation that twenty years ago, when I looked at Michele and said I Do, I really meant it!

Now... I need to sit and write out all the stuff from last week. I took notes so I wouldn't forget. Let's see here... the L.I.E traffic, wow! No MIL, Typhoon! Christmas lights with Sisto, I need a pool, southern misconceptions about northerners, carrying a carport, don't fly Delta, family reunion, boats, beach, cupcakes, karaoke and the joy of silence. Gosh... I guess I better get writing...

The Chicken war... or why I am not a Good Christian

Wow... In eight days, Michele and I will be getting legally married in NY. I can't believe it is almost here. Of course, it still won't change things here, since it isn't recognized by this state, but someday it will be. You know, this whole gay marriage thing is crazy. In my writing, I have tried to stay away from politics and that sort of thing, but for just this once, I think I need to spill what is in my heart and head.

Right now, there is this huge uproar over a fast food restaurant. The owner uses his own money, earned through the profits of the restaurant, to support groups that promote an anti-gay agenda. Some of those groups are Christian. Some of them are registered as hate groups. So people are picking sides. Buy food there and support Hate groups. Buy there and support Christian values. Buy there and support Free Speech. Boycott there to show you support Human Rights. It's all so confusing and really... it's fast food. Now, don't get me wrong. I happen to really like their chicken salad sandwich every once in a while. But it isn't something I eat often enough to make any big difference. So instead of buying that chicken salad sandwich there, I can go across the street and get the one I like better anyhow (Arby's makes the BEST fast food chicken salad sandwich). The thing is... While I am not excited that the owner chooses to support hate groups, I do firmly believe in his right to use his money to support his beliefs. And if it wasn't for the couple of registered Hate groups he supports, I wouldn't care at all. What is really hurtful about this whole situation is watching my Christian friends get stuck in the middle.

I will be the first to say... I am not perfect. I am not a model Christian. I know how hard it is for some people to accept that you can be a gay Christian, or a liberal Christian, or a wiccan Christian or even a gay, liberal, wiccan Christian. Some people in this whole debate seem to believe that there is only one way to be a Christian. And they are taking out their intolerance on those who have a different view. Of course, the gay people aren't helping things. The calls to have Kiss-ins, dress in drag and all that other in your face stuff only aggravates and incites the far right. So... can't we stop all the madness? If you aren't happy with the owners policies... don't eat there. Write a letter. If you support the man's right to free speech, write a letter. If you support his values... eat there. Write a letter. But stop hurting each other.

I have to be honest. Some of my friends ( and you know who you are) support this restaurant 100%. They believe that the owner is being a true Christian. And looking at Facebook, I saw the posts supporting the Appreciation day. I saw the posts saying that this proves we are still a Christian nation (yes, Kim... I saw that post). My first thought was how sad this made me. All those people lining up to prove they are Christians who support Christian values. All that money. How many homeless children could that money have fed? How many pairs of shoes? How many job training programs could that have funded? And those friends of mine who are caught in the middle... why must they feel like they aren't good Christians because they too would rather use their money to help the downtrodden than add profits to a corporation?  Isn't THAT what G*d asks us to do? I won't even go into how much it hurt me personally to see how many friends who I know love me were so willing to support groups who would be happy if I were dead. But I choose to believe that they were not thinking of that part of the debate ( and if they were... well... Jesus told me to turn the other cheek)

Okay... That's my addition to the Chicken wars. I am done with it.